Tag Archives: theriot

Episode 36: The Gaylord Perry Episode

Cheater cheater, PED – eater!

Melky, why? Why did you do that? What the crap dude? We’re super mad and we tell you why.

Chad and Willie almost cry over spilled Melk. As Giants fans, we feel betrayed and lied to, and much of the Giants organization feels the same way. It’s not just that he took PEDs, it’s that him and his camp tried to cover it up with a ridiculous fake supplement website plot. WTF WERE YOU THINKING MELKY!! At least the Giants had time to cancel 20,000 t-shirts with his likeness on it.

Chances are that we’ll never see him in black and orange again (well, except maybe the Orioles), even if the Giants make the postseason.

The Week In Review

  • Giants are 4-1 without Melky, suck on that
  • MadBum’s wicked start in LA
  • Scutaro is hitting .330 with SF, 18 RBI in 91 ABs

The Big Question

  • Bochy: “It’s time for Lincecum to be Lincecum”

Armchair Manager

Who should the Giants play in LF? Blanco v righties, Christian v lefties? Reported today that Theriot is taking practice in LF. Belt with Posey at first and Sanchez at C? Xavier Nady? Should they go after anyone? (Francoeur, Cody Ross, Scott Hairston, Rick Ankiel, Burrell?) How may September callups affect this?

Tweet At Me, Bruh

  • ‏@TheFakeESPN: Melky realizes he should have just presented YouPorn instead of fake website as cause of boosted testosterone.
  • ‏@DodgersGM: Juan Uribe’s PEDs didn’t work because he bought them off MelkyCabrera’s fake website.
  • @CSNBaggs: Bochy asked Theriot how he felt after working out in LF: “He said, ‘I’m fine The only thing I’m having trouble with is fly balls.'”

We Should Hate This Guy

  • MELKY FREAKIN’ CABRERA

Why We Will Win It All

  • The Giants somehow make the playoffs, Melky juices while he’s suspended and comes back and carries them to the WS title…or not…
  • This whole Melky thing actually galvanizes the locker room.  The Giants love to feel like underdogs and now they really do.

Remember to follow @Torturecast and us individually. Also, you can like us on Facebook!

Willie Gregory – @williedills

Ben Fried-Lee – @friedduck

Chad King – @chadk21

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Episodes

Episode 32: The Ryan Vogelsong Episode

“The Color of Willie”

Willie was recreating his vision of “The Color of Money” at a local SF pool hall and brought his jubilant intoxicating personality onto Episode 32 of “The TortureCast.”

We talk World Series 2010 rematch with the Rangers and 2 shutouts, Lincecum’s woes (and their amazing record without him), Panda’s return, “The Riot” is on fire, Vogelsong is da man, and overall the Giants are actually in a pretty good place. Listen to the decline in Willie’s attitude and rants about Lincecum and rude fans, he cares about the children, really, listen to it, it’s worth it.

  • Overall, Giants have played well since we last recorded, own 4th best NL record (34-27), 5 GB of LA, hold 2nd wildcard
  • Had won or tied 9 consecutive series until today
  • First shutout of season vs Rangers, one of last three teams w/o shutout this season

The Week In Review

  • Giants are 2-11 when Lincecum starts, including 8 losses in a row. ERA up to 6.00; is he finished? Do they need to skip a start or two? Do they need to install bongs in the dugout? Can’t stay away from the BIG inning. Has given up 3+ ER in one inning in 8/13 starts now.
  • Melky’s hamstring. Misses Rangers series and they’re shut out for the first time this season…twice!
  • Panda’s return and his wandering penis; SF went 21-14 w/o him.

Tweet At Me, Bruh

  • “Actually, a title from a blog post from McCovey Chronicles today, “”Source: Tim Lincecum Is Not Having a Good Season””

Our New Favorite Guy

  • Vogelstrong: dude is money, showing no signs of back issues; 2nd in NL ERA at 2.26.
  • Theriot: please give us a 2B man
  • Blanco: Like Pavlovic says…he just MAKES THINGS HAPPEN
  • Honorable Mention: Stony Brook Seawolves

We Should Hate This Guy

  • Josh Hamilton
  • All star game PR people
  • Craig Gentry

Why We Will Win It All

  • If Lincecum doesn’t pitch anymore (they are 32-16 when he doesn’t pitch, .667 best in MLB)
  • Vogelsong, Zito, Cain, Bumgarner

Also, catch up on a Lincecum article Chad wrote earlier this week.

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Episodes