As you know, sports are canceled. The San Francisco Giants should be playing week 2 of their season right now. Check that, week 3. The home opener was supposed to be last Friday. So, I guess we’re in week 3. Sigh.
Sports are the distraction from everyday life, and right now they are not filling that hole. Everyday life has stopped as we know it. Quarantine has become the new normal and most people are taking refuge in their homes.
We here at TortureCast are staying home and staying safe and urge all of you to do the same. It’s a good time to catch up on books, music, movies, and podcasts that we may have missed. For instance, I was listening to my favorite football podcast the other day and they were having a discussion about who in football they would most like to hang out with during a pandemic.
It’s a fun question to ponder. So, I’m taking their idea, and applying it to our San Francisco Giants. The only rules are it has to be a player or personality who is CURRENTLY connected with the Giants, AND that person is still alive. So, there’s no Madison Bumgarner or Mason Saunders on this list.
Here’s my top 5 list, in no particular order, of Giants players or personalities I’d like to ride out a pandemic with at the same place. Share your picks in the comments below and we’ll read some on our next show.
This was probably the obvious choice for a quarantined Eric Nathanson. You know my love for Willie Mays goes all the way back to my childhood. He was my dad’s baseball idol and I’m amazed Willie is still with us. He became a Giant 69 years ago! That’s a lifetime.
Willie is a special assistant for the Giants so technically, he is currently connected to the team. Even if he wasn’t, I’d cheat to put him on this list. With the many appearances he makes for ceremonies and different nights at Oracle Park, Willie Mays is still Giants baseball.
Who wouldn’t want to sit and talk with Willie for hours, day after day? You’re stuck inside for 3 months with the greatest player of all time. He has stories about the 1951 Shot Heard Round The World. Mays was on deck for the Bobby Thomson blast. Or maybe you want to talk about the great players Willie got to play with back in the day. All-Star teams with Hank Aaron, Roberto Clemente, and Ernie Banks. Just a treasure trove of knowledge.
Willie Mays is definitely my first choice, all the others are in no particular order. Now, someone go cover him in some bubble wrap and make sure he’s around to see one more title!
Given the love we have for Hunter Pence as a fan base, this is an obvious choice. Heck, I think all the choices on this list are obvious, but that’s probably because it’s my list. After a 1-year hiatus to the Texas Rangers, Pence is back in the familiar orange and black. His energy and enthusiasm for baseball, and life in general, is what endears him to Giants fans worldwide.
Hunter is a coffee lover. He has a shop in Houston and his own coffee line. At that shop in Houston there are a ton of games because Pence loves to play and compete. It doesn’t matter if you are in to video games, board games, or even role playing games, Hunter has your back. He plays them all, so you’ll definitely stay caffeinated and engaged.
Now, I’m a married man and my wife is also in to baseball. She is a fan of Hunter, but she’s also a huge fan of his wife Alexis. For years Lexi has produced online content and been engaging with her fans. My wife and her have gone back and forth numerous times so, if I’m crashing with Hunter, the wife is coming with and hanging out with Lexi. It’s a package deal.
Just take a scroll through Johnny Cueto’s Instagram feed and you’ll have every reason I would love to hang out with him for 3 months or so during a pandemic.
He has a ranch with chickens, horses, and I don’t know what else. He loves to ride horses. Cueto cooks good food, and lots of it. He’s been known to smoke some good cigars and lounge on the beach. Also, jet skis! It’s just a ton of fun at the Cueto household and it would be a great place to hide out. I don’t even think the language barrier would be a problem, Johnny is friends with everyone.
Yes, Brandon Crawford is the starting shortstop for the Giants, but he is so much more than that. He’s a Giants fan, just like us. I mean, the man just put together a bracket tournament to be voted on Twitter for fans’ favorite players from 1990-2009. And we’ve all seen the iconic shot of a young Brandon in 1992 when the team was threatening to move away.
We’re beyond all that now and Craw is the starting shortstop for the team he loves. So you’ll always have that to discuss. And I haven’t even mentioned his luxurious hair. Imagine the hair tips and tricks Brandon could share over the course of the pandemic shutdown. Your hair would look better at the end of the lockdown than it has at any point in your entire life.
There’s also the whole DJ BCraw side of things. It’s well known that Brandon is the team DJ, and has pretty much had that role since he arrived in 2011. I can’t imagine there is another person with the Giants who has a music collection as vast and deep as Brandon Crawford’s. There’d be so much good music, you could learn a whole new artist every single day.
Kruk & Kuip
Ok, so I’m cheating. Duane Kuiper and Mike Krukow are each their own person, but any Giants fan knows, you can’t think of one, without the other. Since 1994, Kruk & Kuip have been calling Giants games together, and it really feels like they’ve been there longer. The duo is so popular, that even now when Krukow can’t travel to all the road parks, Kuiper and he will call the games together via remote.
Every event at Oracle Park these days has these 2 guys front and center. They’ve given us such great phrases as “Grab some pine, meat.” and “He hits it high. He hits it deep. It is outta here!” and our personal favorite popped up in 2011 “Giants baseball. Torture.”
If there was a mayor of Giantsville, these 2 would share the title. They have gotten to know every player, manager, broadcaster, and ball boy the Giants have had the last 25 years or so. The stories from all of these encounters must be amazing. It would be easy to pass the time with these guys.
That’s my list. What’s yours? Feel free to comment below and we’ll share fans answers on a future show!
By the way, the podcast that gave me this idea is Around the NFL. Check them out on all the podcast platforms. They’ve been killing it since they started their “bunkercasts” during the LA lockdown, and in general are a very entertaining podcast all year round if you like football.