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DYNASTY

You'll need to frame the third one, there on the left. Yeah, that one.

You’ll need to frame the third one, there on the left. Yeah, that one.

I really can’t write much. It’s been almost three hours since the impossible happened. Especially after that single-almost-turned-into-a-homerun took our collective breaths away.

But, Madison Bumgarner calmly stated, “I got this.”

After an improbable closing relief appearance, World Series MVP Madison Bumgarner earned the save with five innings of magical relief to preserve a 3-2 win over the Kansas City Royals that secured the Giants third World Series Championship in the last five years.

I really have no words.

And I need to SCUBA dive tomorrow.

Look for a giddy podcast sometime in the next day or two. I really have no idea what’s going on. A humpback whale might appear in the Mojave desert for all I care.

God dammit I love this game, this team, this City, and all of you fine people. And I’m not even drunk.

Chad

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Episode 76: One. More. Win.

Buster Posey congratulates Madison Bumgarner after another magical performance: a complete game shutout in a 5-0 victory over the KC Royals that have put the Giants up 3-2 in the World Series and on the precipice of a dynasty. (Rob Carr/Getty Images)

Download episode 76 here, or stream it below!

One. More. Win.

And the San Francisco Giants will be World Champions for the third time in five seasons.

We are so fortunate to have the opportunity to talk about our favorite team, potentially on the eve of the clincher as the Giants head back to Kansas City up three games to two. If not tomorrow, then perhaps game 7. Even if they don’t win it all, this has been a hell of a ride.

Listen to episode 76 as Willie, Ben, Chad, and lucky charm guest Eric break down the first five games of the World Series and look forward to a hopeful clincher in either game 6 or 7.

These moments, right now, are why we do this show.

The TortureCast, the podcast by and for fans of the San Francisco Giants.

Good luck, and let’s bring it home, boys!

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Episode 75: We’re Going to the World Series!

Unreal. The San Francisco Giants have won the National League Pennant and are in the World Series for the third time in the last five years.

Unreal. The San Francisco Giants have won the National League Pennant and are in the World Series for the third time in the last five years.

You can download episode 75 here, or stream it below!

Incredibly, our boys in black and orange have done it for a third time in five years! In a rousing 4-1 NLCS win over the St. Louis Cardinals, the Giants move onto the fall classic to face the young upstart Kansas City Royals beginning Tuesday night. Willie, Ben, Chad and guest Eric Nathanson review the NLCS, including the momentous homeruns hit by Michael Morse and Travis Ishikawa that have left indelible marks in Giants’ lore. In the last half of the podcast, we preview the Royals, their strengths and weaknesses, and how the Giants might exploit them. We also talk about Hunter Pence’s lack of geography knowledge, a horrible ESPN article, our favorite guys and we make series predictions (hint, all 4 of us take the Giants). Tune in for a jam-packed special World Series episode of the TortureCast!

 

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Giants Quit Scoring Runs the Hard Way: Win Pennant

You'll be conjuring the name "Ishikawa" until the Giants move to London in 2134. (San Jose Mercury News)

You’ll be conjuring the name “Ishikawa” until the Giants move to London in 2134. (San Jose Mercury News)

Travis Ishikawa.

The guy who wore jeans to the 2010 World Series ring ceremony (in 2011).

The guy who bounced around on the Brewers, Orioles, Yankees, Pirates, and spent most of this year in AAA.

And he’s our starting left fielder in the NLCS?

When did this exactly happen? I know they say “all hands on deck” in the playoffs, but for the Giants, it’s almost as if Bochy asked Sabean, “Hey, got any stale donuts left in the break room? I’m looking for just a morsel to keep me from eating my large cap.” Yet, these seemingly stale morsels: the Paniks, Duffys, Perezes, Ariass (that looks bad there), and of course, the Ishikawas, may not be your first choice for a fresh pastry, but dammit THEY WILL FEED YOU!

And in a pivotal, uncharacteristic moment (for Bochy and this team), Ishikawa misplayed a ball hit to him in left, and as it sailed over his head for an RBI double, you could literally hear the moans escape from AT&T. The redditors and others just screaming, “SEE, I TOLD YOU ISHI CAN’T PLAY OUTFIELD, CLEARLY JUAN PEREZ IS THE ONE AND ONLY GATEKEEPER TO THE WORLD SERIES….DUMB BOCHY!”

No sense screaming about any and all mistakes made in June and July when they were in the trough of the big leagues. Much like the collective screaming of millions of not-Ishikawa-jersey-wearing Giants fans were abated a bit by the fact that Bumgarner minimized the damage to that one run. They were in the game.

Then Panik, who hadn’t homered since he grew pubic hair, yanked one just fair to put the Giants ahead.

Wait, the Giants hit a homerun? Ok, so Crawford and Belt have done it, I guess it’s been long enough. When do we get the run scored via the “ball-stuck-in-Pierzynski’s-orbital-socket,” a misplayed ball by the Cardinals because the ball literally split in two after a broken bat fragment julienned it, or the wild buffalo sacrifice at second base? Apparently that well dried up tonight, and the baseball gods smiled upon the black and orange masses to give us a game for the annals of Giants lore. Not only did Bumgarner give up a homerun to a lefty for the first time since April, but the third string catcher also launched one off of him in the third. It appeared that the devil magic was bubbling from the Cardinals side.

I myself was pessimistic. No matter how many improbable comebacks this team has made, you figure they can’t win EVERY GAME in dramatic fashion…..right?

Enter Michael Morse. After both starters settled down and cruising, the 8th inning came like a well-lubricated freight train. Morse was actually on deck in the 7th to pinch hit for Bum, but since they went so quickly, and with Bum wanting to pitch one more inning, Morse came back out with his neon orange cleats in the 8th against one of the best setup men in the game. Morse has had two ABs all NLCS and hasn’t played beyond that for more than a month. Of course. Because it’s the Giants. Neshek is nasty, but he hung a slider, and Morse jumped on it, tying the game at 8.

Again, where’s the ball off the seagull for a run?

After a 9th inning that left me guzzling Pepto and wailing on my children, (THANK YOU AFFELDT!), the bottom of the 9th unrolled the carpet to Michael Wacha, last year’s NLCS MVP. However, he hadn’t pitched since September 26, and with Rosenthal in the pen, I thought it to be a curious move in such a high leverage situation, both mentally and physically.

After a Sandoval single and Belt walk with one out, it set the stage for either a) a double play, b) a walk-off 3 error Benny Hill title sequence, c) walk off homer.

HAHAHA go the fuck home, you’re drunk, option c).

Oh, and why don’t you replay this 45 times in honor of Ishikawa’s jersey number

The Giants, who scored 10 runs without a hit over their last 5 games, scored all 6 via the long ball tonight.

The Giants really are trolling the baseball world right now.

Dammit I love this mother f’n game, don’t you?

Chad

Post Article Notes:

Great images from the game by the mercury news

 

 

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Episode 73: NLCS!

I wonder if the Giants will put up a chalk outline on the wall to commemorate this catch?

Download the podcast here:

or stream it below!

The Giants were considered the 10th seed in the MLB playoffs, yet here they are, demolishing the Pittsburgh Pirates and Washington Nationals to become one of the “Final Four” in Major League Baseball. Willie, Chad and Eric (@2outhits) discuss the Giants’ chances in the NLCS vs the Cardinals and what makes these teams so special in episode 73 of the TortureCast!

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Episode 71: PLAYOFFS!

We want to see many more of these images in the playoffs.

Download Episode 71 here, or:

Press play below to stream Episode 71!

What does 2014 have in common with 2010 and 2012? The San Francisco Giants are in the playoffs, of course! Let’s hope the pattern extends itself to a third title. The boys break down the Giants’ wild card chances against the Pittsburgh Pirates for an hour, which is about the same amount of time you’ll be either watching commercials and relieving your bladder during wild card game on Wednesday.

We gloat over our expert prognostication of Giants wins back in March (we picked 89, 89, 88, and the Giants had 88), pick our team MVPs, and give our cliche “3 keys” for a Giants victory against the Buccos. Let’s hope this is the start of a new chapter in Giants’ lore. Who will deliver the next triple-double, stand in the rain, bust out a thong, deliver the clutch HR, or throw a strike that freezes a dominant hitter to clinch a series? We’ll find out if that road indeed lies ahead, Giants fans. Buckle up!

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Episode 70: George Kontos

 

Meet Mr. Kontos. He wears number 70, never shaves, and enjoys everything Chicago.

Download the episode here, or

Stream the episode below!

Ben and Chad round up the last week that saw Buster Posey win the NL player of the week (.565!!) and Madison Bumgarner earned NL pitcher of the month for August, yet his monthly ERA (1.97) was actually higher than Kershaw’s ERA for the year. Yeah, we know who’s winning the Cy Young, and maybe even MVP. The Giants had a rough few days in Colorado, but bounced back nicely in Detroit, but because the Dodgers aren’t cooling off, they find themselves 3.5 games back after pulling to within 1.5 earlier in the week.

The good news is that the Giants have a 3.5 game lead in the wild card, they still have 6 games yet to play against the Dodgers, and Buster Posey found his spinach. We also talk Belt’s possible return, Morse’s injury, and how Panik and Susac are exceeding all expectations so far.

Join us for the recorded stream, a stream while we recorded on the internetz. Don’t forget, we now stream all of our podcasts LIVE on YouTube around 9:30 pm PDT every Monday. We will also have clubhouse access this Wednesday and Saturday, so we’ll be sure to take our anti-anxiety medication before we ask Hunter Pence how fluffy his shower towel is.

Episode 70 on YouTube:

 

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Episode 68: We’re Doing it Live!

It wasn't smooth, but we did it...our first live streaming call in show.

It wasn’t smooth, but we did it…our first live streaming call in show.

Download the podcast here

Or, stream the podcast below!

You can also listen to the YouTube version below

This is our first live call-in streaming show, ever! We apologize that Chad’s voice is a little soft for half the podcast, and we actually dropped the stream about 10 minutes in, causing mass hysteria as people couldn’t listen to us live, but we trudged through and took a couple of calls about the misfortune the Giants have faced over the last 3 games, including the Nats comeback and tonight’s inexplicable loss to the woeful Rockies. We’ll be doing it live from here on out! Don’t forget to call in at 415.799.SFG1 to let us know how sexy you think Crawford’s mane is.

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Do You Like to Cuss? Live Call In Show: Monday, August 25, 9:30 pm.

 

WE’RE DOING IT LIVE!

Do you want to call KNBR and give them an Andrew Dice Clay-laced rant about the Giants, but you know you can’t?

Well, you’re in luck.

Bring any foul-mouthed language about the orange and black to the internet airwaves this coming Monday, August 25 around 9:30 pm!

Now, we won’t let you say just anything on our podcast. You can’t make fun of our mothers or perhaps my boiler, but almost anything about the Giants is fair game. Besides, it might give us some choice sound bytes for our sound board.

Tune in on Monday around 9:30 pm PDT on YouTube Live!

If you want to call in, you can do so from any phone. Just dial 415-799-SFG1 and we’re almost certain to get your profanity-laced rants on air.

If you can’t make the show, you can leave a voicemail at 415-799-SFG1, or email an mp3 to mail@torturecast.com.

This is an experiment, who knows what will happen? Heck, we’ll be broadcasting during the last third of the Giants/Rockies game. We might even go into Jon Miller mode.

Pass around this link to all of your Giants fans who may or may not be friends. Certainly don’t tell your Dodger friends. They can go rot in hell with Puig.

Hope to see you Monday!

 

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Episode 67: Doug Mirabelli +1 or Xavier Nady -1

No SF Giant has ever dared to wear this number for reasons we cannot reveal

Download the podcast here, or

stream it below:

We knew this day would come. We finally hit a uniform number that has never graced the back of a single SF Giant.

We’ll think of it as Xavier Nady minus 1, or Doug Mirabelli plus 1. Not sure what we’ll do about 100+, if we ever get there.

Willie and Chad talk Giants baseball on this off-day that finds the Giants starting a six game road trip to Chicago and Washington, only 3.5 games back of the bums and with a hold on the second wild card spot. Hey, they were further back of the Padres at this point in 2010.  Of course, the Dougie was also a popular dance then, so….

We cover the recent series, Morse’s hot bat, Panik’s hustling pinkie, Matt Cain’s season-ending surgery, Belt’s troubling concussion (and Sanchez’s), Susac, Posey, Pablo, perplexing Timmy, the second base curse, Jimmy Rollins, and what kind of player would manifest with Yaseil Puig’s raw talent with Hunter Pence’s love and respect for the game.

Also, next week around 9 pm PDT, Monday, August 25, we’ll be having our first LIVE CALL IN SHOW and will be streaming it LIVE on YouTube.

Mark it on your calendar, and be sure to call us from your phone and we’ll be sure to patch you in, even if you think Michael Morse is a bust this year.

That number is 415-799-SFG1

Again, that number: 415-799-SFG1. 

Wait, I only need to repeat it on the podcast, not on this post…

Chad

 

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