Tag Archives: PED

Episode 36: The Gaylord Perry Episode

Cheater cheater, PED – eater!


Melky, why? Why did you do that? What the crap dude? We’re super mad and we tell you why.

Chad and Willie almost cry over spilled Melk. As Giants fans, we feel betrayed and lied to, and much of the Giants organization feels the same way. It’s not just that he took PEDs, it’s that him and his camp tried to cover it up with a ridiculous fake supplement website plot. WTF WERE YOU THINKING MELKY!! At least the Giants had time to cancel 20,000 t-shirts with his likeness on it.

Chances are that we’ll never see him in black and orange again (well, except maybe the Orioles), even if the Giants make the postseason.

The Week In Review

  • Giants are 4-1 without Melky, suck on that
  • MadBum’s wicked start in LA
  • Scutaro is hitting .330 with SF, 18 RBI in 91 ABs

The Big Question

  • Bochy: “It’s time for Lincecum to be Lincecum”

Armchair Manager

Who should the Giants play in LF? Blanco v righties, Christian v lefties? Reported today that Theriot is taking practice in LF. Belt with Posey at first and Sanchez at C? Xavier Nady? Should they go after anyone? (Francoeur, Cody Ross, Scott Hairston, Rick Ankiel, Burrell?) How may September callups affect this?

Tweet At Me, Bruh

  • ‏@TheFakeESPN: Melky realizes he should have just presented YouPorn instead of fake website as cause of boosted testosterone.
  • ‏@DodgersGM: Juan Uribe’s PEDs didn’t work because he bought them off MelkyCabrera’s fake website.
  • @CSNBaggs: Bochy asked Theriot how he felt after working out in LF: “He said, ‘I’m fine The only thing I’m having trouble with is fly balls.’”

We Should Hate This Guy

  • MELKY FREAKIN’ CABRERA

Why We Will Win It All

  • The Giants somehow make the playoffs, Melky juices while he’s suspended and comes back and carries them to the WS title…or not…
  • This whole Melky thing actually galvanizes the locker room.  The Giants love to feel like underdogs and now they really do.

Remember to follow @Torturecast and us individually. Also, you can like us on Facebook!

Willie Gregory – @williedills

Ben Fried-Lee – @friedduck

Chad King – @chadk21

 

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Spoiled Melk

This news doesn’t taste good (from gotbrainy.com)

The Melk has spoiled.

In a magical season for Melky Cabrera, a career year, All Star game MVP, the adoration of Melkmen and Melkmaids, and one that has helped propel the Giants to the top of the division, the team and the public were notified today that he tested positive for testosterone, a banned substance.

Not that it matters much, but Melky immediately admitted he took a substance “he knew he shouldn’t have,” and apologized to the team and the fans. It’s certainly better than other players that have denied use of PEDs, attributing their positive test to a supplement, or even worse, a delayed FedEx delivery (looking at you, Braun). Personally, it’s not much of a reprieve of the blow the Giants will take, and their chances of pushing towards the playoffs. Fifty games is fifty games, no matter if you deny it or accept responsibility. There is no additional punishment for denial.

The Commissioner’s office has also confirmed that he will be eligible after 4 games into the postseason, should the Giants make it. So, if they do make the divisional round, he could see action in games 6 & 7 and afterwards, or potentially 5-7 if they have a one game wild card playoff.

Although this news cracked the wires less than an hour ago, there’s already twitter chatter about how this will affect his contract next year. Many stating that obviously he made a mistake not negotiating a contract with the Giants earlier in the year, which is predicated upon the fact that his monster year will garner up to or over $15 million per year on the open market. Sorry to say, Melky, that number was at least cut in half, in my opinion. It’s not only because of your new record of testing positive, but now there will obviously be questions about how the testosterone improved your performance. Assuming he’s off of it next year, how will his numbers change? Will he be a .350 hitter with 15 bombs? Since this is a career year for him, and it happens to be during a time he was taking PEDs, I would say, probably not.

That doubt will now linger in the minds of the Giants front office, the other 29 clubs, and especially Giants fans, much like when you gamble with a carton of milk that’s a few days past its expiration date with the “sniff” test.

Chad King

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